Dating hes giving me time
Sometimes he says he can’t see me as he’s with his mates.
My parents think I should pick someone who can be more committed to me and my friends say similar.
He may be someone who always has a lot going on in his life, maybe or maybe not by choice. Petra Boynton is a social psychologist and sex researcher working in International Health Care and studying sex and relationships. Please note that by submitting your question to Petra, you are giving your permission for her to use your question as the basis of her column, published online at Wonder Women.
In thinking about what you want from a relationship it might be you need someone who will put you first and desire a partnership where you spend a lot of time together. All questions will be kept anonymous and key details, facts and figures may change to protect your identity.
Don’t play games about meeting up but don’t drop everything when he is free if you have something pre-arranged. Is it because of unrealistic expectations or romanticised ideas about relationships and the belief that if someone likes you they must be with you as much as possible? I might guess ‘yes’ given how your family seem to view a very normal early dating situation as evidence of him not being adequately committed to you.
Where might those ideas have come from and are you able to resist or question them – seeing them as being unhelpful in your life now? Are you someone who is prone to anxiety or unable to relax and enjoy what you currently have?
At which point you may be relieved you didn’t rush in.
If the situation were reversed, how might you feel if a boyfriend you’d known just a few weeks asked you to stop seeing your friends so much and to cut back on your work, studies and hobbies in order to spend more time with them?
That sounds okay for a relationship that’s pretty new, where you are both still finding out about each other.